You are Enough

Today after swimming for forty minutes, I bumped into a school class mate.  I knew I recognised her and called out her name.  She was getting into her big 8 seater, turned around and recognised me straight away.  We started talking and giving a brief catch up about our lives.

It was just the way she said that she’s a single mother of four children.  To me, that is pretty impressive.  Why do people always put themselves down?  Why aren’t we ever happy, with what we have?  Appreciate.  You are enough.  Why do we compare ourselves to others?  Everyone experiences different things, and therefore behave differently.

Or, maybe like something I read on Instagram, it said “This may piss you off: You are where you deserve to be in life.”

I don’t know.  Do you agree with this?


I was walking down a road. With my head held up high. Enjoying the light breeze. The cool air between my toes. I was wearing an open toe sandal. They are my favourite pair. A soft shawl wrapped around my neck, leather jacket and jeans. Just enjoying the moment. Will this moment ever return? I stared straight ahead. My eyes glanced at the metal fence, darted across the pavement, across the road. Cars parked on the verge. A black and white collie dog rang down the pavement on the other side. Whizzing down. The dog caught my eye. It raced past a man. I was still staring at the dog. I didn’t notice a set of eyes watching me. I glanced up. Our eyes met. My first initial response was a smile. The guy was tall, slender. Maroon t shirt, dark baggy jeans. His face, unshaven. Dark eyes. He looked familiar. He smiled. Hello. I can’t remember whether he spoke first or I. Talking across the road as we both walked the opposite directions. How are you? I’m fine thank you and you? Good thanks. The conversation went on like that. He smiled on and I carried on walking.

Another time, I was on the train. I was travelling back from Leeds and jumped on to a train at Derby. I walked carefully down the aisle, counting the seat numbers and looking for my reserved seat. In my seat sat a young man. The table seating of four was jammed with a couple on one side and a young guy on the other.

“Excuse me, is this train going to Sheffield?”

The blonde haired guy replied “Yes, I think so.” He chuckled. He had a lovely accent. I looked at the number above the window which informed which seat was reserved from where. Still looking at him, slightly embarrassed I spoke, “Sorry, this is my seat.”

The guy looked at me, apologised. I thought he was going to stand up instead he shifted towards the window seat, which was reserved for me. No problem. I sat down next to him. His hair was thick, blonde high lights with light brown. His eyes were piercing blue. I couldn’t help it but I wanted to find out where his accent was from. So I casually asked him and he told me he was from Australia. Perth. This made me so excited and intrigued. I love men with Australian accents! We had a really interesting conversation full of laughter, exploring the world, travelling. I sometimes wonder, whether I should have given him my number. He laughed at the way I pronounced a word which, funnily, I can’t remember now. He told me he was a training teacher and has come to see his friend in the UK. He was working for a Cricket place in Sheffield and was visiting his friend in Newcastle. I wonder whether this guy is? I told him, next time he comes round my way, I’ll give him a tour. Not that there is much to see where I live. A middle of no where. We had a nice conversation, and when it was my time to leave, I thanked him for a friendly chat and left.

These are memories of no coincidence. We meet people everyday and we always pass each other. Makes me wonder if we will ever meet again. I would like to.



Interesting facts about relationships..

What do you do when you are bored?  I like to skim, flick through some boring magazine I find lying around, in random places, like at work in the staff canteen, on the bus or in the local library.  I happened to come across an article about Brad Pitt and Angeline Jolie – which I found very interesting.  These are two mega stars in USA, both making lots of money.  Both worth a hell of a lot of money.  From their previous experiences, of divorce – Pitt in his last marriage and Jolie – from her previous three, they both had messy divorces.  They both decided that when they finally hitch, they will split everything down 50/50, as they have children involved. in case their marriage breaks (you don’t want to think of the worse case scenario) and what ever they made before they both got married, in the single days, they can’t touch.  That is for themselves.  Isn’t that a terrific idea?  Sometimes, you can learn something new about famous people and their experiences.  

abstract of my life

A life is like a canvas.  A blank canvas is a newborn child.  One you begin to paint, your life begins to start.  Experiences form.  When you look back at your past, you can say ‘i had a good childhood.’ when you were a child you dream to be older and have luxury like a car, holidays and a career.  When you grow up, it is not that easy.  I never thought I my life would be the way is it.  Sometimes, I don’t know where to start.  It is a dark place as the moment and I pray and hope that it will become bright again.  Writing helps, and so does painting.  nothing seems to be happening.  It is good to have a diary.  Looking back this year has been a tough one.  finally blogging, i enjoy this more than social networks.  strange world we live in.  typing, writing, sketching.  life will get better, don’t know when.  i hope next year gets better.