Past, present, future

Sometimes I wish we can start fresh and forget the past. The past makes us who we are. Can’t forget the past. We can only move forward. A step at a time. With time we will heal. 

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Taboo Topics

I saw something online and it goes like this:

Person A: how old are you?

Person B: 33

Person A: And you don’t have kids. Wow, it’s time to get on that.

Person B: I’ve had 7miscarriages.

Person A – looking incredibly uncomfortable.

Person B: And we hope we have learnt a lesson about asking inappropriate personal questions. 

Miscarriage is an example, of a reason why someone may-not have a child. It is not always the case. But it was in the above scene. It’s shocking and annoying when people ask personal questions.

There are three answers why someone doesn’t have kids. 

1. She has chosen not to have them. The stranger is never going to be able to change her mind. 

2. She has trying desperately to have children and continues to battle infertility. 

3. She has lost her children. 

All of which are no one else’s business.

Don’t ask if you don’t want to accept the response no matter how uncomfortable you feel!

Other taboo topics are marriage and divorce. 

Another scene, at the bank:

Cashier: Are you the holder of this account?

Customer: Yes. Why is there a problem?

Cashier: Your name has changed. Aren’t you married?

Customer: No, I’m divorced. Can I have my money now?

Cashier – looking uncomfortable and awkward.

Cashier: well you look much happier now. 

Don’t ask questions, about people’s status, it’s none of your business. 

Mind your own business

What has my status got to do with anybody?! 

Nothing. So mind your own business. 

Strangers. Colleagues. So called friends and family sometimes. 

Don’t use my status as a reason or excuse that is unrelated.

It’s pathetic.

Special Guy.

Late night fiction writing by Realtalewryter.. 02:23am 

There once lived a boy who was tall, fair and dark haired. He had  a passion for music, and playing different instruments. Including exotic pets such as a tarantula. He had big hands. He was good at decorating, fixing up his cars and motor cycle. 

He met a girl at work one day and fell for her straight away. 

The girl was petite, with short red ends and dark hair with an olive complexion. 

The girl however was friendly yet withdrawn. Curious of him. As he was constantly always helping her out and being extremely kind. “Was he for real?” She thought to herself. 

One day she needed help with a furniture item. One of the colleagues told her to ask him. Shyly, she did.

“What’s in it for me?” He asked.

“I’ll cook you dinner?” A peace offering she thought. Everyone likes food, right?!

Soon they became friends. He constantly asked her to meet up. She didn’t think much of it. She enjoyed his company and he enjoyed hers. 

Then the company began to make redundancies. Sadly she was one which lost her job. It was a sad day for him. Not seeing her at work. They continued to keep in touch. 

Watch dvds together, jam on guitars, recommend music to each other. He talked to her about his health, he was suffering from depression. He talked about his abusive childhood, his mother. Then his happier times with his father. She was very sad to hear about his past. He was more fragile than he was putting on. 

Then one late evening, he texted her and told her he tried to commit suicide. It made her anxious and immediately she contacted him worried about his well being. 

He wouldn’t reply to her calls. She asked him for his fathers or best friends contact number – in case it happened he felt like that again. He replied he would give it to her. Then another day he replied with anguish and accused her of being pushy.

She was sad. So she rang the Samaritans for advice. It was good advice and they told her she did the right thing. Trying to get his family details so she can contact them if anything happened to him.

Then he came out straight that he was fond of her and he wanted more. 

Her reply was she liked his friendship and company. She didn’t want to be ‘friends with benefits’ – she’s not that sort of girl. If he wants something else, they should not be in contact. 

At first he was ok about it and stopped talking to her. He felt rejected. She was sad she had lost a friend. But it’s his loss, if he didn’t think their friendship was worth having. 

Then he contacted her again, to have the last word. He blocked her off all social networks. 

She wasn’t bothered. His loss. She kept herself busy with travelling and work. 

One night she was out with friends and received a late text from him.. One of the short “hey..” messages that you know means TROUBLE. A lonely male wanting female company.. 😡 She deleted it straight away.. Then her again some months later he messaged her, during the day, telling her he’s got a new job. She replied knowing that it was a very bad idea, congratulating him. He replied saying he’s happy and glad that she replied to his message. She responded “Really?” And asked when it was his last day. 

She wished his good luck for his new job. 

Then he replied telling her he’s really busy and has met a new person. 

How bizarre! She thought. He contacted her to tell her -he’s now snatched up. 

Special Person for a Special Guy.

The End.

Reality 

You don’t have to watch “Eastenders” my life is pretty dramatic enough. Come and watch an episode of me.. 

Really I mean it. Spend a day being me in my fantastic dysfunctional large family. Characters which you’ll love and hate. Never a day is the same. 

Sadly there are somethings that will keep repeating in your life until you learn it. We learn through pain. 

What is Love Island?

A programme about polyamory? Men and women between ages of 20years to 35years meet and find their true love? A relationship big brother reality show! I don’t normally watch “trash” reality tv, so please don’t judge. It’s quite entertaining and funny. 😂🙈

I hope not all men just go for looks and drop their women for another. And it’s same for women, “pied off” their men for another. The language is so hilarious. It’s like I’m learning a new form of English language. Slang language! 

Relationships are complicated. You will definitely get hurt in process when trying to find your suitor. There are players out there and some genuine, kind but rare people. 

As long as you stay true to yourself, and keep to your personal principles, no one can make you do what you want. 

Reminiscents 2

“Hey saw this starry night shirt dress and reminded me of your gorgeous starry night dress you wore at the Christmas do last year! I think this dress would good on you.” And sent the link from website and photo of dress. 

A male friend sent me a photo of live Rugby match with the Dragons playing. No writing needed. Photo explained everything. 🙂 #goodtimes (And we’re just friends! And it’s possible!)

A photo of a candy store – passed this place thought of you.. 🍫 🍬🍭 

Photos of old postcards /childhood pen pal letters – hey look what found! We should start this up again. 

Parkrun action photo.

A photo of a Harley Davison.

A movie trailer – YouTube link 

A book – there are many books that remind me of friends and it’s normal to think of them. Like my work colleague Mark who recommended Fredrick Nietzsche book Beyond Good And Evil – excellent read. I miss Mark, we used to have proper intellectual conversations. I don’t know where he’s now but I hope he’s reached his goal and become a successful engineer. Then there’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson recommended by my colleague friend Chris. I miss him too. We had lots in common. I wish him all the best too. 

Cooking tips and recipes. 

Cooking at my friends house. 

Green doors

Virgin mojitos 

Songs – Starlight by Muse, reminds me of Kickboxing and my rock buddies from there – Tom, Dave and Sarah. The Vaccines, Athlete, and The Maccabees- Paul, Boston – Mark, Wolfmother – George. Dave and I talked about Badly Drawn Boy a lot 🙂 Charlotte (Charlie) we talked about Nirvana at the age of 16! 🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼

Reminiscents

Sometimes you will see things that  remind you of someone. I always thought that was normal and friendly. 

“Hey watched a film and the location was Amsterdam, I remember you saying it was your best holiday.”

“Heard that song on the radio 📻 it reminded me of you.”

Snapshot of a coffee cake sent as a message to your “friend”.

And what does the friend reply to me: 

“…saying you’ve seen things that remind you of me, that’s all what would be considered romantic if it was anybody else…”

WTF Really?! 

What on Earth is the world coming to? It’s normal to remember things and let things remind you of people. Doesn’t mean you’re romantically involved in someone or want to be.

I’ve had friends male and female send me photos by text, postcards by post to say it reminded me of them. I did not think ever that person “loved” me or had a “crush”. It’s so pathetic. 

Maybe it’s the generation we from and how the way of our upbringing. 

If anyone want to comment, please do. Tell I’m right or wrong. 

Learning

Everyday you learn something new about yourself. 

Through emotions, feelings and memories. 

The feeling of how they made you feel or last conversation of what you had with them always stays with you. 

When they end badly, you always remember the bad parts. 

It’s worse when your fears appear in your dreams. I don’t normally suffer from nightmares not much now. I don’t fear anyone, but it’s not pleasant having a frightful dream about your ex. I guess that’s normal. Re living, re dreaming, re seeing the replica of what happened when you lived together in living day. I don’t know where that makes sense. The dreams showing what happened before and you having the chance to say what has been building inside of you.